mile marker I-40

Wow ... well then ... ahemmmmm ... geeze ...

I just turned 40.

It's not that it's all that bad. It's just really ... strange. After being the baby o' my family ... I'm always the young one - the spring chicken of our brood. That was all working really well for me until Father Time tapped me on the shoulder this month and I realized that two crows must have landed on my face when I wasn't looking. I see their little footprints around both of my eyes.

They're truly hard to digest ... those two numbers ... 4 and 0. On their own they are quite benign. Put them together and you have good reason to buy a whole bottle of Merlot all for yourself. It is rather tempting to fall into a sullen state of denial ... however, as these last few days have passed ... I have felt a more comforting sensation fall over me. In looking back, I realize that these last two years have truly been some of the most spiritually challenging of my life. I have seen God teach me new things ... new freedoms ... new dependence on who He is. Maybe they have just been a warm up of things to come. I mean, instead of saying goodbye to my 30's ... maybe the last two years have just been the runway to take off into the best decade of my life. I'm thinking that perhaps I've been dreading something that isn't even there. What if those two dang numbers - 4 and 0 - turn out, in the end, to be the best numbers of all? Will I be better than ever?

Alex, I'm going to go with yes, for $200.

A Day of Grace

The morning after ... the refined sugar hangover ... the visions of Peeps dancing in my head ...
It's Easter Monday and I'm drowning in wrappers and my fingers are permanently dyed purple. Good times ... good times.

Yesterday was a perfectly wonderful day. It began, as I said in yesterday's post, with lots of sunshine and warmth. We walked into a floral sanctuary and worshipped the risen King - punctuating the rebirth of spring with a Divine exclamation point.
Then we all gathered at Mama and Daddy's for lunch and festivities. The meal was the perfect Easter Day buffet of ham, chicken pie, potato salad, deviled eggs, corn, green beans, fruit salad, sweet potatoes, mac&cheese, yeast rolls, and sweet tea. Dessert was homemade banana pudding, pineapple cake, and more candy than the kids could stuff in. Lunch was followed by the laughter and fun of all the grandchildren dyeing 76 boiled eggs around Mama's kitchen table. From 3 to 24 - all the kids joined in and it was glorious to watch. After the little round masterpieces were dripping with color, the gaggle flocked out into the yard for hours of "capture the flag" and bubble-blowing. Daddy's landscaping is made up of over 200 southern azalea plants and the contrast of all that color against the freshly mowed green was a symphony of color for the eyes. After all the kids were dizzy from fun and stained with grass and dirt ... they all piled back into Mama's kitchen as she started hauling all the leftovers out onto the counter for a second pass.
It was at that point that I had to make my exit with my youngest, as bedtime was rapidly approaching. After I returned home and put her to bed, I called back over to Mama's to ask her a question. When she answered, I could barely hear her for all of the laughter and noise in the background. As we made our exchange and hung up with an, "I love you and see you tomorrow", I hit the end button on my phone and smiled.

Yesterday was a living promise of the hope we have in Christ. Like I said last week, our family has sustained some real blows these last two years ... and we are still healing. But in the celebration of our Lord - I see our own celebration. We are eternally restored by the Resurrection, we are seasonally restored by spring, and we are relationally restored by love. All of that truth collided at my parent's house yesterday ... and it was a crescendo of grace.

It was the very definition of grace.

Was it a Morning Like This

The sun is shining. In the 5 day forecast, this was the only day of the 5 where there was a whole sun ... not the sun with the clouds partly covering it ... not the clouds with the rain drops or lightening coming out them ... just the whole sun. It made me smile when I saw it. In the midst of what has been a very erratic weather week - today is sunny. The forecast was correct.
It's like the earth knows and says, "Today will be beautiful. It must be. Only our best for the King."
I love passages where the Bible talks as if the very elements of the earth respond to who He is. The wind ... the waves ... the rocks crying out ... I love that imagery. So today, the earth responds to the truth that Christ the Lord has Risen. It has groaned since Friday ... but today it rejoices with us ... and the bright sky reminds me that The Light has come into the world and this morning,

He

Lives!

Happy Easter and enjoy the day~

Lettuces, French Beans, and Par-sah-ley

I hung out over at Mabes house tonight. For those that don't know her, Mabes is my sister, Sharon. I've called her Mabes since I was a junior in high school. She also calls me, Mabes. Technically, she is Mabes Sr. and I am Mabes Jr. I would take time to explain how those names came about ... but I'll spare you the details. You probably wouldn't think it was as funny as we did, anyway. :)

While we were there tonight, in honor of the traditional Easter Bun-Bun, we decided to wade through Mabes' countless hours of home video to find Nick reciting the whole book of Peter Rabbit after he had just turned three. I thought I was prepared for his little Southern drawl and big teardrop eyes ... but I wasn't. It melted my heart to hear him reading about Mr. McGregor's garden and Peter's little "blass" buttons on his jacket. It took me back in time and I was blown away at how much emotion it brought to the surface.

Time flies so quickly. We should really stop to enjoy every moment of beauty we are given. What a wonderful treasure to watch my precious nephew flip through the memorized pages as if he were actually reading the book ... and to know that God has protected him and all of the children in our family ... and that they all love God. What a gift to contemplate this Easter. What a precious reality.

A Season of Renewal

For most of my life, people referred to our family as the "perfect" family.
"Oh Marlo, your family is perfect."
"Gosh, you sure seem to have the perfect family."
"I wish I could be the 4th Applewhite daughter ... you're family is so awesome."
And the list could go on for miles. To be honest, it did seem true. We were all imperfect people ... but we truly did do the family thing really well. No matter how large it grew over the years, we all related more as one large immediate family, rather than extended with aunts, uncles, and cousins. We were all just one big happy family ... very few speed bumps.

Cue the chaos, in three, two, one ...

These last two years have been the most difficult for my greater family in more ways than I can express. All the sudden, it seemed as if everything got shoved into a blender and someone put it on the highest setting - pulverize. Church conflict, denominational conflict, relational conflict, misunderstandings, a divorce for my sister, emotional fallout from the divorce, questions, hurt feelings, issues outside the family ... you name it and we have pretty much had a taste in some way or another over the last 48 months. I felt like a Lifetime movie in the making. It seemed as if everything we had treasured for so many years had come to an end. It was difficult water to navigate.
Now, don't get me wrong, in all that chaos - we stuck together - we tried to muscle through ... but it was rough. There was emotional free-bleeding going on all over the place. At Christmas, I began asking God that 2009 be the year of renewal for my family. We have too much love and too much faith to let anything ruin the gifts we've been given in each other.

Well, it's spring now ... Easter morning - the most renewing day of the year ... is less than 48 hours away, and I feel it coming. I have continued to pray for the renewal ... the refreshment ... the restoration, to arrive - and I feel that it has made its entrance. All things are becoming new. The Lord has been blessing us, little by little, with letting go ... with coming together ... with healing.

What is most surprising, is that I do not regret the chaos. It has been a teacher. We are still learning the lessons and taking the exams ... but I think it will all be worth it when the grades are posted. I think we will end up even closer, even stronger, more unified, and more in awe of the One who can truly make all things new. We who have loved much have been forgiven much - and
we
are
family.

Advertisements for Jesus ... does He really want the help?

Okay, I must break the silence and I am certain that I might offend someone by doing so ... but nonetheless ... this is my blogsite and I reserve the right to censor all comments. Bahahhhahahahha
But seriously folks ...

I am growing ever impatient with the "Christian marquees" that dot the front yards of many churches along life's highway. I don't know ... they just seem tasteless most of the time ... and what exactly is the purpose they bear? Here are a few recent examples:

"What part of 'Thou Shalt Not' do you not understand?" (Oh yeah, THAT is going to be really effective, there.)

"The Cross - the ultimate power tool" (Oh my goodness, I can't even comment on that one.)

"ATM inside - atonement, truth, and ... (For the life of me, I can't remember how it ended ... but an ATM?? Come on people.)

On our local news tonight, apparently one church has been receiving a lot of response over their marquee and most of it is not very good. It says, "Pray that all Jews will accept Jesus as the Messiah".
Of course, I pray that all of the world will accept Jesus as Messiah ... but hmmmmm ... that did seem a bit stark to me. And again, how effective is that really going to be? Am I being harsh here? I am just really struggling with this. I truly don't know if this is the kind of help Jesus wants from us. I can't imagine that it is.

Katie emailed me a photo this past Saturday. We've sort of been playing a little game between Mabes, her, and me. When we see something like that, we take a phone pic and email it to the others. Katie's picture was not of a marquee, but rather a beanbag chair wrapped in this huge clear plastic sack. Through the plastic you could see the words printed on the chair. It said, "Our God is an AWESOME God." Mabes texted back and said, "Well I know that you shouldn't ever put God in a box; but apparently a big bag is fine."

Lately I struggle so much with some of the methods used by the Church. Is this what being salt and light is supposed to look like? I do not think it is. What are your thoughts?

Big Brothers ::geesh::

One beautiful day not long ago, Steve, the kids, and I were out on the deck. I was grilling steaks ... Mary was feeding snacks to the dog ... Steve was sweeping the old leaves out of the wooden slats ... and then there was Brad.
He was hanging out on the steps that lead down to the side of the driveway. Ben drove up in his 4-Runner and Brad got very excited. He realized that Ben's car was moving, so he jumped down off the stairs to wait for him to come to a stop. It scared Ben when he saw Brad move so quickly, so he stopped abruptly and yelled out the window, "Brad, I'm still moving!"
Brad seemed very insulted that Ben would think he didn't realize that and he yelled out in a very perturbed tone, "Well thank you, Captain Obvious!!"

Worth the Risk?

I was up until 1am on Craigslist. There is something very specific I am looking for and I was determined to scour the whole nation looking for it. I think I found it. It's in Tacoma, WA. Of all places ... Tacoma, WA. Well, I can't exactly jump in the old Suburban and go check it out, now can I? I emailed the seller and asked all kinds of questions and he was very prompt in writing back to give me all the details he could. He was very descriptive and the item seems like everything I've wanted. Should I buy it on faith or not? Should I trust that this thing I have been searching for is as good as the lister portrays it to be and just close my eyes and trust that it will satisfy when it arrives? Is it possible that something so far away could be right for me? Will I open the box and breathe a sigh of great relief or great disappointment? Is it worth the risk?
I guess I have some decisions to make.

Recently, I was speaking at a women's event and I had a rather lengthy conversation with a young woman who was wrestling with the meaning of life. She began to explain her journey of searching for the truth. She really wasn't sure what she believed. She talked with me and questioned me and it seemed as though we were miles and miles apart in our souls. It was as if she was looking for something very specific. She was scouring the whole world and all its definitions of truth, looking for it. After hearing my story, she seemed to think she might have found it in the truth offered by Christ. She had lots of really valid questions. I was excited to answer her with the greatest of detail ... making sure that I was honest about the Christian faith and the cost of following Jesus. Although His way is not always easy, it is simply the best possible way to live. It seemed like everything she wanted. Should she step out in faith or not? Should she trust that this thing she has been searching for is as good as the believer portrays it to be and just close her eyes and trust that it will satisfy once she embraces it? Is it possible that something so seemingly far away could be right for her? Will she open her life to grace and breathe a sigh of great relief or great disappointment? Is it worth the risk?
I guess she has some decisions to make.

Decisions.

The Brad also rises ...

I will try and start these up again, as well. Brad is now 7 and funnier than ever. I will begin with something he said to a group of Ben's friends.
Ben, Stephen, and Jamey were down in the basement throwing some iron around ::wink:: and Brad came down to watch them. Jamey said, "Hey Brad, show us your muscles." Brad stood there a minute and then reluctantly began taking his t-shirt off. He said, "Well ... alright ... but I haven't worked out since Kindergarten, so don't expect much."

IT'S A BIRD, IT'S A PLANE, IT'S ... ME AGAIN!!

Oh my gosh, can you believe it?? Yes, Katie, there is a Santa Claus, and he's brought me back to start blogging agian. I am so sorry that so much time has passed ... I'm practically a newbie again. There is no way of really explaining all that has kept me from gettin' my blog on ... but suffice it to say ... I have years worth of material now and it should be enough to have me blogging well into the Medicare years. Katie even says I can hook up my Twitter to this and leave little "tweats" too. I tell you ... everyone needs a Katie in their lives.
::NOTE TO SELF:: - thank donna for having katie. :)

Make sure all tray tables are stowed away and all seat backs are straight. Flight crew, prepare for take off.

Marlo