Beginning Again

I have a person in my life who is healing from losing a spouse in Iraq this past year. We became friends through a military contact who thought my past experiences would help me relate to her and her to me. We quickly became friends, and now we are like family. It is amazing how God can truly move heaven and earth to connect His children ~ as I live in NC, and she lives in AZ! I've watched her go from being a hollow, empty shell of a person ~ to a determined, believing woman who is learning how to live again. It was so difficult to observe her pain and suffering in those first weeks of our contact. I can only imagine how those closest to her felt. But as time has passed ... and is passing ... I see her opening her heart and eyes to the glorious future God has in store for her. She is clinging to Jer.29:11 ~ and she is finally starting to see how God does have plans to prosper her and not to harm her. For so long, she could only look down at what laid shattered at her feet ~ but now she has lifted her gaze and she is looking towards the horizon. I am so thankful for this growth in her and I am so thankful for a God ... a Father ... who holds us when we are broken ... who loves us even when we question what He is doing ... and who never abandons the works of His hands. Ginger and her 5 young children still have quite a journey ahead of them ... but I know that God has got amazing things in store for this little, precious family. No matter where you are tonight ... you can trust Him with your pain and broken dreams. Even then, He hears you and He loves you. Trust ... even when everything inside you wants to quit. It might be the most difficult thing to do ... but trusting will always lead to blessing. Always.

Peace and love ~

Brad on being a morning person

Every morning this whole summer, our ritual has been the same. Mary wakes up first ~ gets a clean diaper ~ drinks her sippy-cup o' warm Silk Milk ~ and watches the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. By mid-episode Brad is usually awake and joins her for the show. While watching it this week, I noticed that when the show promped the viewer to respond verbally, Brad didn't sound so well. I said, "Brad are you feeling okay? You don't sound so good."
He replied, "Oh no Mom, I'm fine. It's just when I wake up ... for a while ... my throat is crooked."

Brad on false advertising

After much begging on his part, Brad talked me into letting him sleep with me tonight while Steve is in Paris. Yes, I said Paris. I know, I'm mad, too. (smile) Before you get too excited, he pretty much only sees the airport. That helps. (bigger smile)
Anyway, Brad climbed in beside me and after about 10 minutes, he raised up on his elbow and said,
"I thought this Tempurpedic mattress is supposed to conform to my unique parts. Well ... it AIN'T formin'!!!!!"
I didn't dare ask what his "unique" parts were. Oh, there's never a dull moment with Brad around ...

Love and hugs,

Are you part of the rescue squad, or just driving by?

I had an interesting conversation with a dear friend last night. Were talking about grace. Sometimes it seems that we get so caught up in trying to live such perfect lives that we almost strangle under the burden of being righteous. I think there is a vast difference between trying to live a sanctified life, and trying to be perfect. It would seem that to be sanctified (more like Christ each day), would be living to please God. It would also seem that trying to be perfect, would be living to impress man ... or dodge man's scrutiny. I think some churches lend themselves to that more than others. In talking with my friend, we were discussing all of this in light of God's grace. We also wondered how we really measure up to the early church of Acts. I read about them, and it seems that they all were living to spur one another on. They were supportive ... they loved ... they shared in joy and in sorrow.
I told my friend the analogy that comes to my mind in regards to the modern church is this.

Inevitably, when on vacation, the traffic comes to a complete stand still on the interstate. You sit there burning gas for what seems an eternity, until finally you begin to creep along. When you get about 3 miles down the road, you see the aftermath of anything from a big-rig blowout, to a fender bender, to an all-out catastrophic collision. What has taken the traffic so long to move?? We all know it is because people have to stare and gaze at the situation as they pass by. Very few stop to help ... but hundreds love to watch.

This is how I often see the church. In this life, we all have our hard times. We're all human, and I believe God truly does understand that we are dust. When one of us stumbles, stammers, or out-and-out falls ... there are only a few that truly care enough to stop and help rescue and restore the injured. Most of the time, the rest just pass by the situation with either a genuine disappointment, or a haughty judgment ... all the while, failing to see that we are all capable of the same accidents in life ... the same pitfalls ... the same weaknesses. It just seems that when a Christian falls ... the thud is loud and people like to stare.
I must admit, I find myself judging a lot more than I'd like. I'm one of those in the car driving by with my nose pressed to the window ... instead of the one with a blood stained shirt pulling victims from the twisted metal. This is what has convicted my heart more and more since Rick's death. There are so many kinds of people I have judged, having never walked an inch ... much less a mile in their shoes.
While I do believe in church discipline, I also know that sometimes we ask that people live up to a terribly long "to do " list, spiritually speaking. People don't often share their weaknesses for fear of scorn ... and then they are left to go it in silence ... and often that leads to a train wreck.

I am seeking God diligently these days, asking Him to reveal His heart to me in this matter. We hear so much about tolerance these days ... there are no more standards ... anything goes. Well, that is not so. God has standards, and we are commanded to be holy as He is holy. However, "where sin doth abound, grace abounds all the more".
I just know that in my heart I really want to become the kind of Christian that pulls the car over, jumps out, and gets my shirt bloody as I try to lend a hand to helping with the disaster. I don't want to be the passer-by with my nose pressed to the window any more.

Grace and peace ~

Brad on Theology

Tonight I was taking Brad to my parents house to spend the night. On the way, we were discussing the recent news story of the little dog getting between the 1 year old baby and the rattlesnake. If you haven't heard about it ... Google it. It's so awesome. Anyway, Brad was saying how that dog would certainly be in Heaven when she died ... and she'd have wings. I tried to explain how that wasn't really a Biblical truth ... but it was nice to imagine ... and certainly IF there were dogs in Heaven ... she would be right up there at the front of the line. I have to admit ... I rather like to think and hope our pets will be there with us! :)

So ... that leads to discussing the Bible in general, and Brad says, " Well you know Mom, the Bible isn't God's real Word." I said, "Well yes, Brad, it is His real Word. Why would you say that?"
"Because," he replied, " it's just dried ink. God's real Word is written in blood and that blood will never dry."

Woah. I didn't know what to say other than, "The Word became flesh and dwelt among us."

He might only be 6, but that was one profound statement. I love that little curly top boy!

Blessings and good nite ~

Our Daily Brad

Brad is our 6 year-old, and resident curly haired comedian. I decided that since he says at least one side-splitting thing a day, I would begin posting them in a blog called, Our Daily Brad. This will be my first one. I'm so excited.

Brad on world-history:

Last week I ordered a book off Amazon called, Marie Antoinette ~ The Journey. It arrived with classic oil-painted rendition of her on the cover. When I walked in the den the night after it arrived, I found Brad sitting up in our wine colored wing back leather chair ... feet crossed, and mid-swig from a coffee cup. In his right hand, he held my Marie Antoinette book. I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at him ... not sure if I was more thrown by his beverage choice or his bedtime story choice. He finished his swig of coffee, put the mug on the end table, and said, "Aaaahhhh." Then he went back to looking at the book and realizing that I was standing there staring at him, he looked up and said, "This is very interesting. (thoughtful pause) Her tall hair sure is cuh-ray-zee!"

Oh my. What will he say next???

You never know the surprises God has in store

You know, it's amazing to me how God is continually growing me and stretching me in new ways. I guess the proverbial "old dog/new tricks" doesn't apply to me. First, I'm not old ... stop laughing. Stop. Really. Second, I'm not a dog, although I have referred to myself as one with frequency. You ought to see my hair in the mornings ... and the way the pillowcase makes a nice little crease across my face leaving me looking like an old oil painting. We're talking doggie level people. However, I am not a dog ... just a little canine in the mornings. (smile)
One way God is stretching me is in the area of parenting, in particular, with my oldest son Ben. He's the one up there in the picture with the crutch. Don't ask me why he didn't put it down for the photo. I think it's because he thought it looked cool. I guess it kinda does.
His latest epiphany is that he wants to go to culinary school and be a chef. He has good reasons to back up his desire, but only time will tell. However, this announcement came after years of him saying he wanted to be a doctor. Since he was 6 years old, that is what he has said. However, leading up to him telling Steve and me that he wanted to go to culinary school, the Lord was already preparing me for the news. I had been sensing that Ben was developing and becoming much more "right brained" like me than "left brained" like Rick (my late husband) and who Ben had always seemed more like. As God was showing me these changes in Ben, He was also growing and changing my heart in some other areas that prepared me to be very accepting and supportive of Ben's news.
Now perhaps Ben will be on the Food TV channel one day facing off on Iron Chef ... "Ladies and Gentleman, today in kitchen stadium we will have a culinary battle of epic proportions. The ledgendary Mario Betalli will face off against new comer and recent culinary school graduate, Benjamin Francis-Peddycord!" The crowd will cheer and I will beam with pride. OR, mabye Ben will never chop, dice, and julienne amongst the culinary greats of kitchen stadium. Even so, I know that God has already been at work and blessed me with an amazing surprise in the process of trying to support Ben's dreams.
I will call her Annie.
She is in the admissions department of a culinary school Ben is interested in attending. Of all the culinary programs across America, we chose this one to investigate further, and Annie called us one day in response to a questionaire we filled out for Ben at their website. As Annie and I talked, we just sort of clicked. I can't say why, but we did. In the weeks leading up to our visit to the school for Ben to audit a class and for us to tour the facility, Annie and I talked several times. In fact by the time we arrived on the big day, I felt like I was going to see an old friend. When Annie came out of her office to greet us, we ran squealing at each other with arms extended and squeezed each other tight. Steve and Ben just rolled their eyes and said, "How do women do that???"
After a wonderful morning together, we parted ways and Annie, after learning about our story and that I had written books, wanted to get one. After returning home, I sent her one as a thank you, and she read it.
Here's the awesomest part ... she contacted me afterwards to share her heart with me. As it turns out, Annie has really undergone a very difficult year filled with complicated love, family illness, and lots of things to think about. She is such a precious person ... but she admitted to me that she is really searching for some spiritual significance in her life. She's so open to life, so open to the possibilities. She is also searching for truth. She and I both feel like it was no accident that God brought us into each other's lives. I know that He did. Annie's story, like mine, is being written every day that we breathe. I don't know how her's will end, but I know that God is pursuing her and He knows exactly what she needs. I am just so thankful that He allowed me the priviledge of being a piece of that story.
Amazing part is, if Ben had come to me 2 years ago with his desire to pursue the culinary arts, I would not have been open to it. But becasue of the work the Lord has been doing in my own heart, when Ben came to us with his heart ... I was ready. Had I not been ... I would have missed meeting Annie ... and I would never have been a piece of her life.

That is the heart of my post tonight. It screams the passage in scripture where it says, "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

In all these things coming together ... my heart ... Ben's desire ... our plans ... touring the school ... making a new friend ...
In all these things I can look back and see that God had something much bigger in mind than just a day at a culinary school. He was working things out for good ... and truly ... when it was all said and done ...
God is the One who had something "cookin'" all along.

There is no insignificant moments in God's eyes. I am so thankful that for that!

God bless you tonight ~

Profound thoughts from Steve

One of the biggest blessings in the healing that took place after the death of my first husband, was the gift of my second husband. He has been a surprise from the Lord, to say the least.
Yesterday, he gave me some great material to use when I speak on being a "wIFe". You can check my website out for that description ... but in a nutshell, I have a speaking topic called "My life as a wIFe". Note that "wIFe" is spelled, "we" with a great big "IF" in the middle! As life would have it, I have fresh material for this talk all the time! :)
Yesterday was no exception.
I returned home from the grocery store to find that I was running low on time before our dinner guests arrived. Steve chose the wrong time to walk through the kitchen. I promptly put him to work. First thing ... "Honey, would you mind putting these salad dressings in the fridge door to cool down before we eat?" Kindly, he smiled and turned around, heading for the bags to unload my bounty of Newman's and Hidden Valley.
When he opened the door to the refrigerator, he looked into the crowded door filled with bottles, jars, and containers. He sighed heavily, and proceeded to unload the whole fridge door onto my countertop. Now, let me say, this is EXACTLY the same sort of behavior I have seen out of my father over the years. My mother will ask him to stop and help her do something that is easy ... and he(and his enormous left brain) will have to reorganize, label, and color code whatever the project is centered around. It drives Daddy crazy to see how Mama lets things get ... ummm ... "right-brainy". We creative types must have our outlets. You could eat off Mama's or my kitchen floor with no risk of disease ... but stay out of our fridges and sock drawers. It isn't pretty.
So, back to yesterday. Steve is so much like my father, and so he dove right in to correct my "right-brainy disorder". Observing this from the other side of the kitchen ... and knowing our guests were most likely on their way across town ... I released a low, gutteral growl and said, "You're doing that thing my father does." Steve looked up at me with sticky, half-full bottles of dressing that expired 7 years ago and unashamedly stated, "That's because you are doing that thing your mother does."

Touche'

Score:
Steve 1
Marlo 0

Hello, my name is Marlo Francis, and I am a blogger...

Well, it's day two as a blogger, and I'm still pretty much clueless. :)

I know that there is much to learn where all these inserts, edits, and links are concerned ... and the biggest problem is that I'm just at the place where I'm still marvelling at the technology of compact disks. I mean, all those feet of metallic cassette tape ribbon ... all condensed down to a little silver disk. Fascinating. Yeah ... see? I'm wah-hay behind the times. Blogging? What's that? Isn't that a dance you do with little clicky shoes behind some sweaty Irish guy? Ooooohhh ... not that? Well now ... I can see why I'm here in cyberspace all alone.

I'll end for tonight and hopefully learn something new about this world tomorrow. I'm going to attempt to add a photo before I go. Eeeeks, I'm all nervous now. :)

For those of you who stumble upon this, just know that my goal is to create a nice cozy place for us to talk about healing. Until then ... bear with me while I turn clogging into blogging. :)

Blessings tonight,

Marlo

Grieving, blogging, and really cute shoes

Wow, I'm finally leaping into the 21st Century with both feet. I've always prided myself on being rather hip for an old 30-something, but the blogging is even way more progressive than the cute strappy shoes I just ordered from Macy's. :) After an amazing week at a bookseller's convention, I just arrived home exhausted ... but anxious to try out this whole "bloggy" thing myself. If I'm just no good at being quite this modern, and I can't figure out how to "drag and drop" all the appropriate things to make this site awesome ... then I'll retreat to just being a hip 30-something with really cute shoes. It could be worse. :)

My hope with this blogsite is to create a way to communicate with those of you out there that are full of words about loss. Over the last 10 years I have learned to make room in my life and heart for an entity that I call, The Unkind Companion. That is what I named loss when it invaded my world. There's not much you can do to stop it when it comes for a call, is there? On June 4th, 1997, my husband and father-in-law were killed in a mid-air collision. That is the day The Unkind Companion imposed its way into my life ... and I've learned over time, to make room for it. I believe that you can, too.

I have learned to live again, and thankfully, I've made peace with that part of my past. How are you doing with it in your life? If you have experienced loss ... through death, divorce, or any other disappointment in life ... I'd love to hear your comments and feedback. Along with being a loss survivor ... I am a writer, and my books deal with grief and how to put your life back together when everything falls apart. I'm always looking for the perspectives of others to help shape my thoughts and advice as I write, so your feelings are so valuable ... and valid. I will look forward to visiting with you, and in advance ... thanks for being willing to share your heart.

You can check out my website if you'd like. I hope to somehow link these two together somehow ... but Lord knows, I'll take one step at a time. I'm going to need Advil from just figuring out how to create this blogsite on my own. :) My web address is, www.dreamedforme.com
If you are interested in my first book which deals with the very initial stages of grief, it is called ... you guessed it ... The Unkind Companion ~ Learning to Live with Loss. It is available at any online retailer. Just thought I'd mention it ... in case you were looking for resources to help shoulder the pain. It's my way of hugging everyone's heart!

Blessings to you all, and I will look forward to hearing your thoughts and feelings!

Our Daily Brad Category