Brad on Luxury

With this morning's torrential rainfall, needless to say, the pool at the club was shut down for chemical balancing. Mary was in her swimsuit before the breakfast dishes had even gotten suds'ed in the sink and we had to explain to her that the pool was closed for the day. Well ... let's just say ... she was disappointed. My ears are still ringing.

After lunch, Steve needed to make a Wal-Mart run and I suggested that if they weren't too expensive, he might want to get the kids one of those little plastic pools to put on the deck. He thought it was a great idea.

Steve headed off to Wally World and soon returned with a bright blue wading pool in the back of his truck. The kids were delighted. I thought Mary would be the only taker ... but Brad was just as excited ... and he soon emerged from his room wearing his bathing suit and goggles. He didn't care if there was only a foot of water to be explored ... he wanted goggles.

After the pool was full and brimming over with toy fish and bubble wands, I took leave of my little aquatic cuties and settled back on the sofa to watch them through the French doors. They giggled and splashed ... blew bubbles and jumped ... and then Brad suddenly felt the need to relax. I watched him climb in the pool and lay back. Then he reared back and hollered,

"MOM!!!!!!!"

I opened the door and looked down into his face. He was floating there with his hands folded behind his head, as if here were on the poop deck of a Carnival Cruise. He gazed up at me with the most peaceful, perfectly happy expression and he said,

"Mom, could you please get me a Diet Coke with Lime? I'm pretending that this is the life."

Brad on Diagnosis

It's Saturday ... and it's warm. Brad's soccer team had a double header today to make up for a rain out earlier in the season. He came off the field all red-faced and winded. He was so thankful when the coach said the game was over.
"THANK THE LORD!", bellowed from his mouth as he said goodbye to his buddies and headed for the car.
As we pulled out onto the highway, I said, "Boy, you must be tired. I've never seen you pass up Oreos before. Are you okay?"
He sat there a second and then said, "Well my stomach is hurting. Either I've got a cramp or I woke up on the wrong side of my bellybutton."

Summertime ... and the livin' is easy ...

Dental Flaws

Bradley has been going though the snagglepuss phase of life with some teeth in ... others out ... some on their way ... some not even budging. It's always a good look. His two top permanent teeth are fully grown in now and looking pretty dapper. However, both of the teeth on each side of the front ones are still missing.

Okay, Brad tends to brush his teeth like his hands are numb. He puts no elbow grease into the process whatsoever and I doubt that the plaque considers him much of a threat whatsoever. This is especially true in the mornings before school and at the height of Brad groaning about how sleepy he is and how he wants to go back to bed. I have always felt that the numb arm- brushing is his dramatic way of making his point with hopes that I will look at him and say, "Oh dear boy, you are obviously so tired that I shan't dare send you off to school. Please forgive me for waking you and by all means, go back to bed. School can wait." Consequently, those words have never fallen from my lips and aren't likely to any time soon.

The other day, we were in the middle of the morning ritual and I just couldn't stand it anymore. I looked at Brad and said, "Hand me that toothbrush. I cannot stand this sad display of oral hygiene any longer!" Shocked and perked up at the threatening sound of my voice, Brad reluctantly handed over his Spongebob Reach and I put one hand on his chin and took the brush with the other saying, "OPEN up!" With a gleam of complete terror in his eyes, Brad unhinged his jaw and let me in. I set to scrubbing those two Chicklets in the front and apparently in my zeal, I brushed on his gums where the new teeth haven't broken the surface yet.

Brad recoiled with a wince and those famous eyebrows furrowed. That, coupled with the frothy bubbles pouring from his mouth made him look a little like an angry Rottweiler. He spit and began rubbing his gums beside the front teeth. Then he looked up at me and said, "Gee mom, do you MIND ... these baby's ain't born yet!!!!"

Can you be reported for dental abuse? I was only trying to help ... ::nervous laughter::

Big Brothers ::geesh::

One beautiful day not long ago, Steve, the kids, and I were out on the deck. I was grilling steaks ... Mary was feeding snacks to the dog ... Steve was sweeping the old leaves out of the wooden slats ... and then there was Brad.
He was hanging out on the steps that lead down to the side of the driveway. Ben drove up in his 4-Runner and Brad got very excited. He realized that Ben's car was moving, so he jumped down off the stairs to wait for him to come to a stop. It scared Ben when he saw Brad move so quickly, so he stopped abruptly and yelled out the window, "Brad, I'm still moving!"
Brad seemed very insulted that Ben would think he didn't realize that and he yelled out in a very perturbed tone, "Well thank you, Captain Obvious!!"

The Brad also rises ...

I will try and start these up again, as well. Brad is now 7 and funnier than ever. I will begin with something he said to a group of Ben's friends.
Ben, Stephen, and Jamey were down in the basement throwing some iron around ::wink:: and Brad came down to watch them. Jamey said, "Hey Brad, show us your muscles." Brad stood there a minute and then reluctantly began taking his t-shirt off. He said, "Well ... alright ... but I haven't worked out since Kindergarten, so don't expect much."

Brad on sex appeal, again

This morning we were getting ready for church and I was putting on Brad's favorite Hawaiian shirt at mach 10, as we were running late. Big shocker there. When I went to button it, his eyes got big and he grabbed my hands. He said, "Mom, don't button the top button or you will cover up my chest hairs!"

I don't think I've ever blogged something so short, but what can I add to that? Exactly.

Goodnight all.

Brad on tomatoes

On the way home from school today, Brad was discussing his favorite and least favorite foods with the kindergartner, Emma, that we take home every day. She was telling Brad how much she loves grits and how she wanted to eat them for a snack when she got home. This alone amazed me, given that Emma's family is a fresh transplant from the Northern part of our fair country. I would expected that Emma would have listed grits amongst the, "eeeeewwwwuuuuhhhh, gross" things in her life. Nonetheless, Emma was gearing up for some good ole Southern cuisine ~ while Brad was taking his food dislikes to the confessional booth.
He sort of shrugged his shoulders to Emma and said, "Well, it's like this ... I have tried my best to like those red potatoes (Brad's constant wording for tomatoes), but every time I put them in my mouth, my heart says "yes" ... but my brain says, "NO!"
I guess Brad will need to stick with potatoes ... the white kind. Or, there's always grits ...

Brad on Emergencies

I was just in my bathroom getting ready for bed. Brad had been bedded down for about 45 minutes and as far as I knew, he was already a good 15 into the land of dancing sugarplums.

Wrong again.

Suddenly Brad appeared in the doorway and he said, "Mom, this is an emergency. I have an announcement to make!"

I said, "What in the world is wrong, and why aren't you asleep yet???"

He replied, "Mom, I have a chest hair. A real, grown up chest hair. Look!"

He pulled the neck of his jammy shirt down to reveal a red splotch on his chest ... but no hair was in sight. I said, "Son, you've rubbed yourself raw!"

He looked in the mirror and said, "Good grief, I have. Hey, where'd my chest hair go?"

I said, "You rubbed it away! Now GO to bed and don't come back out unless it's a REAL emergency!"

He reluctantly turned to go but said as he went, "Well there was a chest hair there. I felt it." (sigh)

Poor little, precious man.

Brad on the Clinker

We were coming home from taking the babysitter back and Brad was in his car seat looking at the paper. In it was an ad for the Humane Society. It was a photo of a German Shepherd-like dog in a kennel. With a very confused and irritated sound in his voice, Brad boomed,
"How in the heck did this dog end up in prison???"

I just didn't have the energy to explain. I just said, "Gee son, I don't know what he did. It must have been bad, though." Inside I was rolling.

Brad on Sentiment

After arriving home from his first day of first grade this afternoon, Brad and I set out to make his "All About Me" poster. There was a section to put a picture of your pets. I printed two pictures: one of our current pet, a black lab named Selah. The other was of a dog we had to give away several years ago. Her name was Gracie, and she was sweet and cute ... but she had a neighborhood shoe collection that couldn't be curbed. We had to give her to a family who could more readily afford her fetishes.

Even though Brad was tiny when we had Gracie, he's never forgotten her ... and never quite forgiven us for giving her away. So, because he loved her so, I printed a picture of her to go on the poster. When I showed it to him, instead of wanting to put it on the poster, he got a very sad face and plopped down in the chair.
I said, "Brad, Gracie will always be your pet, even if she lives on a farm somewhere else. Won't it make you feel good to tell your friends at school about her?"
Brad said, "No, it won't ... and in fact, now I feel sad and mad. Thanks a lot Mom ... congratulations!"
It was so hard not to start laughing at the way he threw his hands out to stress the word ... but I maintained a straight face.
I replied, "Brad, I am so sorry that seeing her picture made you feel sad. I would never do something to purposefully make you feel sad. I am really sorry."
He looked up at me with a rather "put out" look on his face as he tartly retorted, "Well ... sorry dut'n sweeten my tea!"

Oh Heavens.

Brad on 70's music

We were driving down the road this week, and I had a movie soundtrack playing in the CD player. Brad was quietly listening in the back seat until he broke his silence with the following:

"You know mom, she sounds an awful lot like Carole King."

I was like ... "Wwhhhhaaattt? How do you know Carole King?"


How many 6 year-olds know who Carole King is? Thing is ... she sounded just like Carole King. No kidding.

Brad on Dora and Diego

Sometimes Brad cracks me up with his moments of reason and realistic thinking. He has no problem biting off on the idea that four turtles can dress in primary colors and kick badguy butt ... but throw Dora the Explorer and her cousin Diego in the picture and all the sudden he becomes Mr.Reality.

We were just reading before bed and the book was called, Diego Saves the Tree Frogs. In it, Diego calls on his trusty camera, Click, to zero in on the tree frogs when they fall into the river. As we were reading along, Brad came to the page with Click. Above her lens shined her bright smiling face and with disgust, Brad said the following:

"Mom, isn't Click just a camera?"
I replied, "Yes, she's just a camera."
With that pulled down eyebrow and a big wince on his face, he said, "Well if she's just a camera, then why in the HECK does she have eyeballs and eyebrows staring back at me????? Hello?? Cameras do NOT have eyeballs!"

Brad on sleep study

This weekend, my niece Katie and her fiance', Billy, are staying here at our house. Brad and Billy have been sleeping together in Ben's room. Ben has an awesome king bed with two of those egg-crates under the sheets. It's quite squishy and wonderful. So yesterday they woke up and Billy looked at Brad and said, "Man, Ben's bed is a whole lot more comfortable than my bed in Georgia." Brad looked at him all sleepy-eyed and said, "Man, if you think this bed is comfortable, you should try my mom's bed. It's a Tempurpedic ... and it'll give you 8 hours! AND, if you put a glass of wine on it and jump up and down ... it won't turn the glass over. It absorbs all the energy. I'm not quite sure what that means, but it absorbs all the energy!"

After Billy regained consciousness from laughing so hard, he came in our room to tell us. That child, that child.

Peace and light ~
I'm going to run off the overindulgent piece of Katie's birthday cake I ate last night!

Brad on power outages

Recently we had a string of thunderstorms move through town. In the process, our cable got knocked out - taking our internet access as well as our television connection. The outage lasted about 4 hours. Around hour two, Brad came huffing into the office where I was taking advantage of the time by doing some much needed filing. Brad sat down at my computer and tried to connect to the internet. When it became obvious to him that the connection was not being made, he turned to me - raised both fists high in the air and yelled, "Why does NONE of the technology in this house work??!!!!"

Oh my stinkin' stars ... "technology"??? He freaks me out.

Have a great night ~

Brad on being a morning person

Every morning this whole summer, our ritual has been the same. Mary wakes up first ~ gets a clean diaper ~ drinks her sippy-cup o' warm Silk Milk ~ and watches the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. By mid-episode Brad is usually awake and joins her for the show. While watching it this week, I noticed that when the show promped the viewer to respond verbally, Brad didn't sound so well. I said, "Brad are you feeling okay? You don't sound so good."
He replied, "Oh no Mom, I'm fine. It's just when I wake up ... for a while ... my throat is crooked."

Brad on false advertising

After much begging on his part, Brad talked me into letting him sleep with me tonight while Steve is in Paris. Yes, I said Paris. I know, I'm mad, too. (smile) Before you get too excited, he pretty much only sees the airport. That helps. (bigger smile)
Anyway, Brad climbed in beside me and after about 10 minutes, he raised up on his elbow and said,
"I thought this Tempurpedic mattress is supposed to conform to my unique parts. Well ... it AIN'T formin'!!!!!"
I didn't dare ask what his "unique" parts were. Oh, there's never a dull moment with Brad around ...

Love and hugs,

Brad on Theology

Tonight I was taking Brad to my parents house to spend the night. On the way, we were discussing the recent news story of the little dog getting between the 1 year old baby and the rattlesnake. If you haven't heard about it ... Google it. It's so awesome. Anyway, Brad was saying how that dog would certainly be in Heaven when she died ... and she'd have wings. I tried to explain how that wasn't really a Biblical truth ... but it was nice to imagine ... and certainly IF there were dogs in Heaven ... she would be right up there at the front of the line. I have to admit ... I rather like to think and hope our pets will be there with us! :)

So ... that leads to discussing the Bible in general, and Brad says, " Well you know Mom, the Bible isn't God's real Word." I said, "Well yes, Brad, it is His real Word. Why would you say that?"
"Because," he replied, " it's just dried ink. God's real Word is written in blood and that blood will never dry."

Woah. I didn't know what to say other than, "The Word became flesh and dwelt among us."

He might only be 6, but that was one profound statement. I love that little curly top boy!

Blessings and good nite ~

Our Daily Brad

Brad is our 6 year-old, and resident curly haired comedian. I decided that since he says at least one side-splitting thing a day, I would begin posting them in a blog called, Our Daily Brad. This will be my first one. I'm so excited.

Brad on world-history:

Last week I ordered a book off Amazon called, Marie Antoinette ~ The Journey. It arrived with classic oil-painted rendition of her on the cover. When I walked in the den the night after it arrived, I found Brad sitting up in our wine colored wing back leather chair ... feet crossed, and mid-swig from a coffee cup. In his right hand, he held my Marie Antoinette book. I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at him ... not sure if I was more thrown by his beverage choice or his bedtime story choice. He finished his swig of coffee, put the mug on the end table, and said, "Aaaahhhh." Then he went back to looking at the book and realizing that I was standing there staring at him, he looked up and said, "This is very interesting. (thoughtful pause) Her tall hair sure is cuh-ray-zee!"

Oh my. What will he say next???

Our Daily Brad Category